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XanderThere&aposs something seriously wrong with me.For once, I&aposm not talking about the health anxiety that randomly pops up and wreaks havoc on my life. I&aposm talk...
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XanderThere&aposs something seriously wrong with me.For once, I&aposm not talking about the health anxiety that randomly pops up and wreaks havoc on my life. I&aposm talking about, well, everything else.All my roommates have found someone to love them, and it hurts to see the guys who used to have me at the center of their worlds pair off and grow up, especially when it&aposs a reminder of how alone I&aposve always been. I&aposve always had an issue with relationships. With forming a connection with people outside of Seven, but this is more.Because I want to find my someone.Except the one person my brain has latched onto is the one person I can never have. The one person who&aposs there to help me when my panic attacks get too much.Nurse Derek.DerekI should never have offered to treat Xander Moore.And now here I am years later, my life on hold, while I wait day in and day out for the call that Xander needs me. It always comes, and I always answer, but I&aposm starting to dread those visits.Lately, I&aposm looking at Xander in a way a medical professional should never look at their patient.When Xander starts volunteering at the same nursing home that I do, I get to see a new side of him. The artistic, charismatic side that draws the residents in. I get glimpses of a man who&aposs so much more than his anxiety, and it does nothing to help my feelings for him.Lines begin to blur and I have no choice but to stop treating him. That at least allows us to be friends. The only problem is, being friends isn&apost enough for either of us.It&aposs wrong, unethical, and unprofessional, but my heart won&apost listen. It&aposs decided on Xander, and it doesn&apost want to wait. Neither does Xander.But if I want to keep my job, I have to resist.I just wish he didn&apost make that so difficult.
